tv The Daily Show With Jon Stewart Comedy Central February 14, 2014 1:00am-1:31am PST
okay? don't neil bad like, oh. what can i do? nothing. i'm pretty sure i wouldn't the sleep with anyone over the age of 30. country. that's a fact. or any woman. good night. [cheers and applause] ["daily show" theme song playing] [cheers and applause] >> jon: welcome to "the daily show". my name is jon stewart. [cheers and applause] oh, we've got a special one for you tonight. the new york mayor bill deblasio, the mayor of new york, bill deblasio will be here. super bowl last night where the denver broncos scored some amazing field level seats to a
blowout victory by the seahawks. they couldn't have been closer to the action. i heard. i had a tivo foul up. i spent the night watching the game show soup or bowl. contestantsants are forced to er choose soup or bowl. choose soup, you got no bowl, your hands and if you choose bowl, you get a bowl and no soup. it's a terrible show. [laughter] i will say this though, i learned something interesting if you are irish and married -- [laughter] [cheers and applause] you know what i realized is a wonderful gift for a married irish man is a taste of your lucky charms. [cheers and applause]
anyway lovely couple who announced to us their plans after the show. [ laughter ] the mayor bill deblasio is here. apparently to shovel outside. today new york hit with six to let's say 28 inches of snow. [ laughter ] it's actually providing the mayor with a chance for some snow removal redemption. >> this is the first significant snowfall that mayor deblasio has had to deal with since he came under fire for the handling of the last snowstorm. many complained plows did not get to them for 24 hours while other arteries in places like brooklyn and queens were fully clear. >> you can imagine he got an earful from the tony upper east side residents used to mayor bloomberg carrying them individually from their apartment. [ laughter ] to the chopper. [ laughter ] did deblasio could he have
handled it better? best (bleep) snow team on television has the answers. we go to samantha bee in times square. whoa look at that! incredible! it's looking really good there, sam. >> yes therk cleared the snow right away. it means business is booming for this quintessential new york landmark district. places like ye old disney store. >> jon: sure. >> new york's famous olive guard the m and m store and you don't get more new york than the historic bubby jump -- barbecued she river only into new york. only in new york. >> jon: and he also apparently made it day. jessica williams out in brooklyn a borough left traditionally underserved. how did it go out there? >> went pretty good, jon. there are no traffic problems.
in fact it's 82 and sunny. >> jon: mayor deblasio made it summer in brooklyn. how is that possible? >> i don't know but the only snow in sight is right here. thank you. [laughter] the man loves brooklyn. so stay cool. >> jon: thank you, jessica. we're going to go back to manhattan and check in on the upper east side. assif mandvi how are condition there's? >> not good, jon. not only have they not cleared the streets it seems they are actively bringing snow in. >> jon: assif holy (bleep) you look completely buried in the a snowbank. are you cold? are you okay? >> i can't feel my legs it's deblasio's new york. hell bent on making the city unlivable for the rich. >> jon: assif, it can't be that bad. >> everyone is so covered in snow that the security guards don't even know who to detain
anymore. >> jon: can i see it covers everybody. everybody looks white. who do you hold? assif assif -- what is that? >> jon, that's the soma lirks i warlords they've taken over park avenue. they are battling the porear bears for dominance. >> jon: assif mandvi on the upper east side, ladies and gentlemen. the best (bleep) snow team on television. just because the mayor is here doesn't mean it will be a local issues show. obviously it's a national plt form here. we're also going to talk about new jersey. [laughter] remember when that guy said that thing about the traffic jam? fort lee with the -- remember? >> i don't know what else to say except to tell them that i had no knowledge of this, of the planning, execution or anything about it and that i first found out about it after it was over.
and even then what i was told was that it was a traffic study. >> jon: and even then i didn't hear it because i was wearing headphones and even then i wouldn't have believed it because i was sure that everyone was whispering with a surprise party for me to celebrate my premeditate and vindictive closing of the -- oh what have a done? [laughter] that's governor chris christie of new jersey basically placing -- you like that? -- basically placing his entire political future on the unequivocal statement that he knew nothing about the fort lee gw bridge traffic closures. >> explosive new allegations in the bridge gait scandal. david wildstein says christie now about the closures as they were happening. >> jon: oh, this (bleep) just got real. [ laughter ] in that they were real but -- i mean it's not -- they didn't get
more real. it's just new eaves. who is this wildstein guy and why should we believe him? >> was christie's port authority appointee. >> they come from the same town. this ea tended the same high school. >> the wall "the wall street jos photos of them chumming it up. >> jon: chumming it up? you know unless they were friends in the 1920's. i don't think people chum things up. bromance, man crush i get that but it's a little weird christie your administration didn't just give a job to your school mate it creelt aid brand new position. >> david and i were not friends in high school. wear not even acquaintances in high school. [ laughter ] >> jon: okay that's a straightforward and mature and nonpejorative way of describing a nonrelationship.
in fact, if you were stop right there i would deem that evidence in your column that you are not the petty bully that they suggest. >> i was the class president and athlete. i don't know what david was doing during that period of time. >> jon: until that one day when we both had saturday detention in the library. [ laughter ] [cheers and applause] maybe we learned we aren't so different after all. [ laughter ] ♪ don't you forget about me by the way that was just christie getting carried away at a press conference. of course it's before wildstein that he had proof christie knew. a charge christie will have to refute more seriously than just the high school character assassination. >> the governor's office went after wildstein claimed that as a 16-year-old kid he sued over a local school election. he was publicly accused of by a
high school social studies teacher of deceptive behavior. [ laughter ] >> jon: now that (bleep) really does go on your permanent record. [laughter] by the way, publicly accused by his high expool social studies teacher of d- deceptive behavior. what does that even mean? wildstein stand up. you didn't have to go to the bathroom, did you? you just wanted a hall pass you son of a bitch! why can't you be more like star athlete and class president chris crist h- christie. he's out there banging cheerleaders. wildstein was a conany offing unathletic masturbator who christie decided to create a position for at the port authority because was well suited to the task of reporting
to the port authority to the governor's goals since none of those goals involve truthfully finishing last night's social studies homework. >> we're waiting for the evidence. >> there's no smoking gun, no evidence. >> everybody needs to take a breath and let the facts come out. >> it's wait and see. >> we're all in wait and see mode. >> we have to see what the proof is. >> jon: who are you people? [laughter] wait and see. where is your rush to judgment? keep it down. what if nancy grace hears you talking like that? where is the immediate eulogy for the career, the swift assumption in the court of public opinion, you know the news? in the news media if this measured approach thing catches on i'm out a (bleep)
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this weekend only, getting free tablets and phones on the best network, that's powerful. verizon. [cheers and applause] >> jon: welcome back. my guest tonight is new york city 109th mayor. please welcome to the program mayor bill deblasio. sir. [cheers and applause] how are you, sir? [cheers and applause]
how are you. >> i'm feeling good. i just wish we had done a better job getting the snow up to the upper east side. >> jon: i know. you'll get it up there. since you've been mayor it has snowed three times. i remember bloomberg, 12 years, never snowed once. >> i think he paid the right guy. >> jon: this is what i'm talking about. >> he had the money. >> jon: has it been overwhelming? >> it's non-stop, 24/7. the ultimate 24 slrk 7 job but i love this place. i really love this place. it's endlessly fascinating to me. but i would like the snow to end. >> jon: yes. >> i have done the snow experience, i would lick to try something else now. [ laughter ] >> jon: here is the thing. you've got -- there's a lot of issues to get to today, stop and frisk. you'll be stopping that. pre-k education tax policy, we've got stables situation. but there's one thing in particular that is, i think, many new yorkers are talking
about and it's in many ways egregious. let's take a look. >> bill deblasio is caught on camera this week eating pizza with a knife and fork. [cheers and applause] [audience boos] >> jon: now bloomberg, as you know, used to have his food chewed and then put back into his mouth like a baby bird but this is unacceptable, sir. so may i -- this is from -- it's called john's pizzeria. [cheers and applause] it's called a -- it's a sausage and mushroom. >> beautiful. >> jon: john's is one of greatest pizza places in the history of pizza. i thought we could share a slice. >> i owe would love a slice. >> jon: what are you doing?
[laughter] >> jon: i have to teach you everything. >> i want to say, jon as mayor of napol -- i mean new york city, we are always ready for our pizza. >> jon: oh, my god. [ laughter ] don't even -- come on. come on! talk to me. >> there's another way? >> jon: let me show you something. let me just show you. that's a beautiful slice of pizza. bloomberg is gone, right? wait. >> that technique. [ laughter ] [cheers and applause] >> jon: should have a big gulp. i put a big gulp down there. get it out. >> theres a big gulp. here we go. >> jon: you are gigantic, wow. look at that in his hands it looks like a regular soda.
and frisk. >> we've come to a settlement. >> jon: what is the settlement? >> look, what i said was you cannot -- it's a simple idea. new police commissioner bill bratton who is fantastic says this, you can't break the law to enforce the law. it's as simple as that. [cheers and applause] >> jon: fair enough. >> and what we had for years was young men of color overwhelmingly they were the u.n.s ingled out. treated as suspects even if they hadn't done anything wrong. stop the and frisk we had almost 700,000 stops in the single year. almost 90% innocent people no. summons, no charge, nothing that's now how you proceed in a democratic society. i argue that public safety and civil liberties have to march hand in hand. >> jon: how frightened are people when you walk. in they must think you are turning everything upside down. the uncertainty must be palpable at city hall. >> i don't wear the che
guevarat-shirt. i'm blessed to have a mandate to make some change. i talked about the tale of two cities were living. this is about acknowledging the inequalities whether it's inequality of how policing was done or inquee quality in terms of income or education. they are ready to take that on head on. yes, there are bureaucrats and others who are hesitant but i know the popular support is there. >> jon: how do you explain that to people who have enjowed a more absolute position in the city, somewhat unassailable that that is fairness and justice and not persecution? how do you convince them that the loss of a more absolute power is not persecution? >> it comes up with the planned tax on the wealthy for pre-k. what does this allow us to do full day pre-k for every child
in the city. after school for every child after school guaranteed. it would totally allow us to prepare kids properly. >> jon: you and consumeo are fighting a little bit. you say i'll pay from the state. he is says he will pay from the state. why not go 50/50 on this bad boy? >> i like the way you think. >> jon: thank you. >> we need to know the money is there year after year. the only way to do that is to tax the people in the city who makes between $500,000 and $1 million is the price of a small soy latte at starbucks once a day oonch i'll end up paying a little bit more, can i go to the pre-k and be like, "you're mine." so you better get those grades up because i'm on your ass? >> we'll create a program for you that allows you to do. that i think you deserve that. >> jon: the 50/50 thing no fly
though? >> think we need more reliable money. >> jon: than from the state? >> they haven't offered the dollar figure. they haven't offered the five years we need. it's a five year $2.6 billion plan. >> jon: couldn't bloom intrerg chucked that in on his way out, through it into a pot? >> could have been a gratuity. >> jon: thanks for having me as mayor, nice job have pre-k. >> here is something for you. when i go to talk to wealthier folks and say we want to you pay a little more so we can do this. some people get upset. they say are you trying to punish success. i say we're not we're trying to give more success stories. >> jon: the people who have done well in this city have done well in this city because of the opportunity that this city and its infrastructure have offered us. i think it's the least we can do to, as they say, pay it forward. this is not you have to give us 95% of your money. this is, i think, a reasonable
way of look at it. that being said the fear is we return to a different time in new york when it was less orderly and things were more chaotic and how do you tell people that that is not the case, that this is going to be change but done in a manner that is much more reasonably prescribed? >> whenever you see a progressive moment, whenever you see progressive leaders come into office that charge is thrown in one way or another. that we'll have a more compassity society. it's not true. the bottom line is we know the great threat to this country is inequality. the great threat to this city is inequality. it's going to be unsocialsustaie for the long-term people need a core hope. they need a core amount of visible opportunity. it's been slipping away. if you want to talk about destabilizing realities in our
society, talk about inequality. progressives can run government and be fiscally responsible and focus on public safety, but we're going to do it in a way that respects peoples' rights. [cheers and applause] >> jon: vile you back in three years. we'll talk about it. [laughter] mayor bill deblasio. thank you very much. [cheers and applause] if you can pack five seasons of your favorite show into just one weekend... this much heat into one bite... this much junk in your junk drawer... this much drama into one friend... and this much girlie into one man... then we can pack full flavor of 7up into only ten calories. that's the power of ten. 7up ten. also in these brands.
[cheers and applause] >> jon: that's our show. obviously we spoke for a little longer so it seemed to be an april rupt edit. rest is up on the web. it was nice to see him here. so in a year filled with gut punches this weekend delivered one that, you know, we won't soon recover from. here it is your moment of zen. >> when you are first starting out you have to act wherever you can. you can't be picky. you have to act wherever you can and wherever you get a chance to act and that might be in an audition room. this is something a teacher told me years ago and he is right. even if you are auditioning for something you won't get, you read it and don't like it but you have to go. if you get a chance to act in a room that somebody else has paid rent for then you are given a free chance to practice your craft. in that moment you should act as